Why do we wait?

I'm in a transition.

In between of changing country. And it hasn't been a walk in a park.

I don't have a home. And I'm bunking in my past-life-room at my parent's place while spending my days binge watching MAFS with mum. Not what I envision my forties to be. But this is where I am now.

The excruciating wait had me gaze back at my life's journey and realised that I have been waiting for something my whole life.

Waiting for high school to end.

Waiting to get a degree.

Waiting to finish studying.

Waiting to get a job.

Waiting to get out of the job.

Waiting for a partner.

Waiting to travel.

Waiting to change my life for like the hundredth time.

And waiting for the sake of waiting.

I don't think I like that word anymore.

At this very moment, I see myself as a blacksmith pounding heavily on a carved metal piece of the forbidden word till it breaks into pieces.

Does waiting shape me into a stronger person? Yes. And births out a heck load of patience. I have no control over time. But what I have is the present moment. And what is now is more real to me than the past nor the future. Thus, I must let go of the worry, stress and anxiousness that waiting causes and invite peace and calmness to my being.

And that's something I don't have to wait to do.